So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
