How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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