He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
