if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
