We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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