I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
