She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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