Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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