Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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