mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
