STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
