I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
