you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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