Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize