Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just saw a hot homeless man
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
