Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
