Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
