life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
