I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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