It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
