she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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