HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
