Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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