I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Randomize
