Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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