Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
