the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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