Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
