I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
COCAINE IS GR8
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm both gender and math confused
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize