i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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