he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
