normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize