Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize