Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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