he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
i think im in europe. pls send help
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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