I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
It was confusing and full of hummus
im holly from the hills drunk
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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