I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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