I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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