tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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