ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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