Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
