Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize