He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
