I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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