She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
