I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
