I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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