P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
