Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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