So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
