fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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