Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
