I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
