Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
