Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
