Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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