That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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