I wish I could punch you in the face.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
