the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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