Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Randomize
