16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
