I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
