Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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