It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
