why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
